What should a person do if he has no friends?
Almost every person in life had situations when he realized that he was lonely, that he had no one to consult with and no one to pour out his soul. There are many acquaintances and comrades, but there is a shortage of real friends. No matter how sociable you are, it is always very difficult to find someone you can no doubt call your best friend, friend for ages. And it also happens that even few acquaintances, not to mention friends. Why is that?
After all, once in his childhood everything was so simple, you could go to the girl or boy you liked and offer to play together. And what is most interesting, the refusal was very rare, the children began to play, and the friendship was tied by itself.
Time passed, we matured, and it became difficult to start a new relationship, people began to understand more, understand the characters, began to pay attention to such trifles that previously seemed insignificant.
All this influenced the fact that the older you get, the narrower the social circle, not to mention the fact that it expands and is updated by new friends.
Of course, there are a lot of factors that affect the lack of new friends: someone has frequent moves from town to town, someone has already burned himself and can no longer trust people, and someone has so much twisted the modern pace of life that normal informal communication is no time left.
What to do if there are no real friends, how to change your life, or what behavioral model should be adopted in order for this important aspect of life to get better?
In fact, there are no detailed instructions that would help make a dozen new friends, but this is understandable, it’s not to buy a skirt in the store or buy an apple pie.
First of all, if you feel that you are completely alone, you need to think about the reasons for this regrettable situation, why did this happen? It is possible that friends have left, having graduated from a university or school, have got families and now cannot give you enough attention.
All these moments are quite real, solved over time, but it also happens that the problem lies in the person himself, in his attitude to life and friendship, it is quite possible that he simply does not understand what real friendship is and who are friends.
And, unfortunately, most often the problem lies in the previous sentence. What is friendship? Can you answer this question? I tell you honestly, it is very difficult, but let's try.
Friendship is not a feeling or a process, it is a state of the soul that makes you select someone from the crowd, understand that you are ready to do absolutely unselfishly a lot for him, knowing that this person is of the same opinion of you.
Many believe that friends are known in trouble, this is true, but only with a small addition: friends are known not only in trouble, but also in joy. Do not be surprised, many people are capable of sympathizing and substituting a friendly shoulder, but sincerely, without a feeling of envy, not everyone, and even, say, a few can be happy for the happiness of a friend.
Where to begin?
- Start with yourself! Become the kind of person you would like to call a friend. People are too demanding, they want to receive from others what they themselves are barely willing to do, but is this fair? Think about what qualities, in your opinion, should be present in a true friend and develop them in yourself.
- Open to the world, become simpler, look at things positively, speak of people in the best light.Nobody says that it's necessary to be hypocritical, but who will like it when the bones are rubbed behind it?
- If you already consider it necessary, then it is better to tell the person in the face what does not suit you, you can always find delicate words and a polite explanation. But to discuss behind the shortcomings of another person, especially the one with whom you are trying to make friendship, is extremely silly and absolutely not mature.
- Becoming a person who can be called a friend, you will notice how people will reach out to you, trying to spend more and more time in your company.
- Do not forget that well-groomed and tasteful people always attract and attract much more attention to themselves, so it is very important to look after your appearance.
- Of course, no one says that it is necessary to make a cult out of this, but fashion and hygiene have a place to be in this position. If it is difficult for you to meet in places where you go or work, then try to expand your circle of interests, sign up for dancing or any other sport, attend art workshops, go to exhibitions that are held in your city, do morning runs.
It is possible that changing the scope of daily rotation, you can suddenly meet people who are really interesting to you.
How to move on?
If you want your acquaintances and fleeting meetings to grow into a strong and indestructible friendship, then you will have to work on this. Learn to treat a person with understanding, learn to listen and hear, notice, these are fundamentally different concepts.
Many wonder why it’s impossible to find a friend, because I’m a sociable one, and I’ll help you in difficult times and listen, but still something is wrong. It is very important for people to be understood, do not try to constantly impose their opinions, and also to live someone else’s life as your own, this will never happen.
If your friend is sharing something, then you need to carefully listen to him, penetrate the situation, and if your views differ, then be able to adequately accept someone else's opinion, without insults and unnecessary nerves.
However, it is important to be able and respect the fine line of tolerance, but not to turn into an indifferent and indifferent person towards his friend. A friend is also a person who will be able to find the right words in time, advise, but will not impose.
There are situations when a person is completely confused, he needs help, only sympathy and understanding will be few here, a true friend is obliged to find “sobering words” that can open his eyes to what is happening.
Learn to be a caring and interested person, if you consider yourself a true friend, then when meeting you should be as interested as possible about the life of your friend, his family, worries, mood and problems.
This is what distinguishes a true friend from an ordinary acquaintance, a friend remembers the details of his best friend’s life, is interested in his life and is ready to continue conversations from the place where you stopped last time instead of starting eternal topics “about nature, about weather ".
As you can see, there is no clear and specific answer to the question of how to find a friend, only by thinking and heeding all the above thoughts, conclusions can be drawn that will help you eventually acquire strong friendships. Remember that such processes do not occur at one moment, they need time and solid ground to grow from the small grain, laid by you.