How to survive parting with your loved one?
Parting can always be called a loss. And parting with your loved one is experienced as the loss of everything, the destruction of all life, when everything around reminds of it, and at the same time emptiness is everywhere, because without it nothing is needed. The first thoughts that haunt you are denial, it is very difficult to believe in such a huge loss. When shock and denial pass, anger and aggression to the guy appear. After such a rage, the “I am to blame” compromise stage comes, you are trying to get your loved one back, ready to take any steps towards reconciliation. After unsuccessful attempts to return it, there is humility and awareness of the whole situation. Emotions go away, many fall into a state of depression, because already at the level of consciousness they understand the irreversibility of the situation. Everything passes ... it will pass. There comes a stage of adaptation, when a person decided to live on, he had already gained some strength. The image of the new world and itself in it is formed.
These stages of experiencing separation from loved ones are the psychological side of the issue.After reading about them, you better understand your inner state, learn what happened or is happening to you. This is necessary in order not to suppress all unconscious feelings in the depths of your soul, otherwise you will not be able to move on, and at every inappropriate moment they will emerge from you and interfere with the new beautiful life.
How to survive the separation - tips
Now it's time to talk about practical advice, how to survive parting with your loved one. Elena Rvacheva wrote a wonderful book "How to return a loved one? 49 simple rules." The book is a terrific guide to entering a new life and will make it easier to survive the pain of separation. Consider briefly what rules you should follow.
Take a piece of paper and make a list of the benefits of parting with a guy. Think that now you can do something you could not do before. Made a list? Hang it on the wall, you can even frame it.
Making plans for the future. Let while they do not include the search for a new groom. Enjoy the benefits of idle life. Think what you would like. Buy a notebook, we will make a dream book out of it.Write down all your plans and intentions there, stick in clippings with the desired things, paint your life, let it be bright!
Take care of yourself! Accidental meetings with the former have not been canceled. You should look like a million dollars at any time. You yourself must believe that parting with your loved ones is good for you. Manicures, tanning beds, beautiful hair, hair removal and flawless makeup are your best friends right now.
Do you want to be in the center of gossip relatives and friends? Do not give food for violent fantasies. Speak specific proven phrases: "we broke up, because they did not agree on the characters," "we are not ready for a serious relationship," "we are too different." Agree, and there is nothing to discuss. And another important tip: to describe to friends and relatives all the nightmares and horrors of parting with her lover is not the best option. Life is so unpredictable that, perhaps, someday you will be together with him again, and girlfriends have recently heard from you, what a bastard he is.
Praise yourself, compliment the mirror! Do not miss this rule. Starting to truly love yourself is not so easy. Love yourself and others will love you.
What to do next?
Make a tight schedule so that there is no room for hysterics and nonsense. In addition, inaccessibility is always attractive ... Take a career. Let promotion on a career ladder or additional earnings become a profitable medicine from parting with the husband. After all, now you can devote more time to your promotion.
Are you overcome with rage and anger? Find a lonely place and swear loudly, do not limit yourself to censorship expressions. You can not save aggression in yourself.
Do you want revenge? First of all, do not be ashamed of it. The main thing that later was not ashamed. Work out a plan for revenge. He should bring you a benefit. Some start their own business, and you can just become happy!
When the thirst for revenge has passed, you forgive the former, forgive yourself. People tend to experience disgusting feelings along with positive emotions, for which then it can become shameful. Forgive yourself, you are not the only one!
Believe that you are not the only one with whom it happened. Go to the forum, how to survive the separation, watch movies, read about the celebrities who are faced with this.
Feel free to ask for help. And it is better with a specialist.A psychologist, like no other, will help start a new life and cope with the experience of the pain of separation.
Help friends and self-development
Hen nights will help for sure! Feel strong and independent in the company of girlfriends. Success is on the way!
When the stage of denial and shock is over, and depression is killing you, it means that you can even share all the sorrows of your parting with everyone in a row! Enthusiasm will leave you already on 4 people, and the story and experiences will not be so exciting.
Emotions subsided, and the insult remained. Urgently! Urgently get rid of her! Write in a notebook a list of your grievances against the former, and opposite each one what you can do to forgive him.
Alcohol does not tell you how to survive parting with your beloved, and help you dial his number and a lot of problems and shame after a fun evening. Hormones of joy are still needed - a little chocolate, oranges, dancing, swimming and staying in the sun.
We make ourselves happy, after that happiness will always be with you. To make it easier, get a "book of records of happiness." Your task is to write at least three good moments in a day to it. Try to increase every day the list of positive.To beat your record of happiness you need daily. Do not ignore the little joys.
Having coped with the emotions of denial, sadness, longing and anger, it's time to start a new life after parting with your loved one. In the new notebook write the areas of your life and in each of them set a specific task. Tasks can be broken down into subtasks so that they can be carried out right now. It is impossible to delay with actions.
To better feel the new wonderful life, change your wardrobe, create a new image, change your hairstyle. Above all, do not forget to look charming every day and like yourself in the mirror.
Now, finally, it's time to think about your personal life. Look around. Having got rid of strong emotions of parting with your husband or lover, you will not compare your ex-partner with the current guy, you will not rush to the first comer and step on the same rake.
The Internet will help - get a profile on a dating site. Even if you don’t find that person, the self-esteem will rise from exactly a hundred ardent messages addressed to you.
And finally, praise yourself, you've overcome so much, learned so much, recognized yourself, made your life happy! And thank your ex for a new happy life!