How to resolve office conflicts
Reason number 1: misunderstanding
Each of us has our own view of things. But we cannot always articulate our thoughts. Because they are not accustomed to (“Not lordly business”), laziness (“Let him think it up”), once (“Hurry up, thoughts are about something else”), we don’t want to seem silly and so on. These bad habits play a cruel joke with us: a conflict arises.
What to do?
Maybe stop torturing yourself? Let's learn to clarify. For example, like air traffic controllers and pilots.
Dispatcher: 123, are you ready for an immediate takeoff?
Pilot: I confirm.
Dispatcher: 123, I understand, immediate takeoff from the runway 22 is allowed.
Pilot: Ready to take off at 22.
Reason 2: Congestion of Consciousness
Our consciousness is not rubber. And the information falling into it for the n-th time unit is more than enough. Therefore, there is an overload, and after it an explosion of emotions. And for the most insignificant occasion.
What to do?
- Limit the range of audio and visual information. Conflict is inevitable if there are more than seven employees working indoors and they see each other’s faces. You can put partitions, change places for someone, transfer someone to another office.Reduce the sound of phones, faxes; work issues to solve in a low voice, and personal conversations leave for breaks. Listen to music in headphones.
- Delegate tasks: I will solve this right now, this is a little later. If you do not have time - call, ask to postpone the date.
- Apply relaxation techniques: drink fragrant tea, ventilate the room, stroll along the corridor, go outside.
Reason number 3: sexual homogeneity of the team
It is believed that in the women's teams the most collisions occur. Why?
- competition: there are women who find it very difficult to accept someone else’s success;
- intrigue and gossip: you should always remember that you should not reveal the soul in front of every well-wisher. All information can be used against you;
- emotionality: as you know, a woman has a more developed right hemisphere, which is responsible for emotionality. Therefore, in a situation of stress (both positive - joy, and negative - conflict), many are not shy about their feelings. And the larger the women's team, the higher the likelihood of meeting there with emotional provocations.
What to do?
- get down to business.Often, employees are in conflict if they are underloaded. And so that the download does not seem to be a punishment, you should get creative. For example, hold training meetings, where everyone can try on the functions of a leader, express their ideas and suggestions for improving work efficiency or arrange competitions between departments of the entire service.
- informally team up the team. I know a company where employees on Fridays fight in the "Mafia" in a cafe. Important note: participants in the conflict should not be opponents in the game.
- eliminate homogeneity. There will work a subliminal mechanism of "prihorashivaniya" (not to be confused with flirting), and there will be no need to conflict.
Reason # 4: difficult individuals
Probably many of you met in the office of people who seem to be just charged with negative. In a personal relationship, psychologists are advised to limit contacts with them, or even to leave at all in the same way. But what if such a person is your colleague? Do not change the work as gloves?
You need to decide on the type of difficult personality and build your communication in a new way.
Type "Walking on the head"
Differs extremely high self-esteem, said that he pleases, can not calmly communicate. He behaves rudely, is convinced that he is right, does not want to listen to others.
- Avoid conflict if the question is not so important to you.
- If the question is extremely important, you have to be cunning. First, let the person "let off steam" - let him calm down. Then you calmly and confidently express your opinion. In order not to get "under fire", there is no way to criticize the truth of the aggressor. Defeat your opponent with peace of mind.
Type "acting on the sly"
Sly and unpleasant people use indirect aggression - they persuade others, gossip, speak maliciously, joke evil, their utterances have a double meaning. They mistakenly believe that they act correctly, playing the role of secret chasteners.
- If possible, try to avoid conflicts.
- Find out the real reasons. It's complicated. Those acting on the sly are cunning and careful, they will not lay out the whole truth on a silver platter. It will be good to record the facts of causing evil - this is useful for conversation. During the conversation make it clear that you are above this problem. Pull your opponent down: “What do you really want?” “What do you want to achieve?” Such people do not like direct questions, answer: “I don’t want anything”, “Yes, everything is fine, you thought.” Now is the time to gain the upper hand and bring the accumulated evidence.The more evidence you present, the sooner the "actor" will understand: the mask is torn off. He will have no choice but to admit the facts of his attacks. Then you can find out the true causes of the attacks.
Type “All around are guilty”
These people usually have low or revealingly inflated self-esteem, blaming the whole world for their problems. Realists complain about real problems, dreamers - on imaginary. The interlocutor is used as “free ears” or as “culprit”.
- In the first case, it is better to listen and poddakivat. It is dangerous to argue, otherwise your opponent will accuse you of misunderstanding, inattention to his opinion. Find something to complain about.
- In the second case, too, listen. Interlocutor is important. This is one of the reasons why he is so unhappy with the whole world. Listening to your opponent, you will return to him a sense of self-worth and give him the opportunity to prove himself. Then direct his attention to solving the problem: “What can be done to resolve the issue?”, “What do you expect from me, yourself?”
Trolls at all costs want to be the center of attention. The easiest way to do this is provocation.The subject of a troll's conflict is often taken from the ceiling, and people explode even more!
- Rate the troll. Beginners usually provoke clumsily and awkwardly. Many bloggers, for example, learn to gracefully “take a punch” using troll teapots. It is easy to stop such trolls, argue, distract, show that you are above the situation.
For example, the troll is stupid, childishly joked. Instead of answering "Not funny," you can answer: "To my son 8. He will appreciate your humor."
- If a troll with experience and you are not confident in your abilities, “do not feed” him, do not give your precious emotions. Do not argue if you do not know how best. Surely such trolls will easily win the battle. Without a doubt, ignore non-constructive criticism. Trolls, not having received psychological support, will go looking for more generous donors.