How to Insult Somebody Creatively
Creatively insulting someone is one way of delivering a quick comeback that settles a score or puts someone back in their place. Whether it's someone who uses insults constantly or is someone who doesn't know where to draw the line on making fun of you, a creative insult can stop the annoying behavior in its tracks.
Keeping Your Calm
Think before reacting.If you insult someone without taking a moment to gather your wits, you'll probably just be plain defensive or come across as confused. When you insult them, take a small amount of time to think about it. Not too much or they'll catch on, but a long pause is just fine. If you're short on ideas use a previous insult and modify it. Chances are, they won't catch it.
- Take a few deep breaths (draw your breath in noisily if it helps), concentrate on what needs to be said and draw on your pre-rehearsed comebacks (see step 2).
Create some insults in your free time.Think up appropriate ways to insult the different people who might insult you. If you have a starting point, the rest will come easier.
Ignore the person(s).If you don't take their insults seriously, they won't be able to insult you seriously.
Don't react.Instead, just smile and laugh it off. It will make the person wonder what they're doing wrong.
Don't swear or resort to "Your mom!" or any other variants such as "That's what she said!" You can use "your mom" jokes to make them be quiet when they are coming up with a comeback to stop them, but they're not creative and people have become used to ignoring them.
Revert the insult to the one insulting you.If you have a point of pride, and they tried to hit it, realize that it is because of their insecurities. If you then talk about how their insult would apply to them more than you, they are removed of this crucial power and you have pointed out that which is evident––they're projecting their insecurities onto you.
Don't get mad.Find their points of pride and insult them on it. If they come up with a comeback, chuckle a bit then say, "It's a bit too late for sarcasm, but thank you." You must remain grounded in your apparent idea that they were complimenting you, they won't believe it, but it will make it harder for them to insult you effectively.
Reacting Through Good Argument
Make fun ofthem.If you do catch a flaw in their argument, point it out and mock them for it. Once again, it is all about removing their power and therefore increasing yours.
Using the Other Person's Frustration
Interrupt them when they insult you.If you stop them from insulting you, they will get frustrated and try harder. If so, interrupt them and pick apart their insults.
Accept that youwon.If they are frustrated, you have essentially won.Frustration is the equivalent of an arm bar in martial arts, you haven't won yet, but you're about to. this point is critical. You have the choice to either apologize at this point or continue and send them into a swearing or crying wreck. You need to feel when they're frustrated.
QuestionMy grandson likes to eat pizza with ketchup on it, and his mean stepdad makes him feel horrible about it - what is a good comeback?wikiHow ContributorCommunity Answer"No wonder my grandson doesn't like you. Stop focusing on the small things that don't matter and start acting like a father/fatherly figure/role model." People like what they like! It's petty and nasty to put them down for that.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I react to someone who insulted me about my opinion or point of view?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerSay "nobody asked for your opinion, you nasty little mud-blood." Keep it cool, and act like you don't care.Thanks!
QuestionIf someone is irritating me with a rumor, what should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerLaugh at the rumor and add little more to it...add enough that people finally realize the whole story is fake.Thanks!
QuestionHow should I insult people who say I talk loudly?Ella VizardCommunity AnswerYou could say "I may talk loudly but I can change that. Your ugliness, though, you are stuck with that forever!"Thanks!
QuestionHow can I roast annoying boys?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerSay, "Every time you open your mouth someone dies. So, do the world a favor and shut up."Thanks!
QuestionWhat do I do if someone mocks my flaws?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTo quote Tyrion Lannister, "You're a bastard, Snow. Wear it like armor, and the world can't hurt you with it." When you're proud of your flaws, it makes you unique and unbreakable. If a person mocks you for being fat, just know there's more of you to love. The more comfortable and accepting you become with yourself, the less the opinions of others matter.Thanks!
QuestionIsn't insulting someone bullying?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThere is a difference between defending yourself and pointing out someone's flaws and bullying.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend always beats me up before and after church. He then proceeds to roast me. Help anyone?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerBe cool and assertive when he approaches you. He'll back down if you build up the tension. Also, be silent and don't make any noises, he won't know what you're thinking and he'll be uneasy. Use a scare tactic as well, maybe reach into your pocket as if you're holding something in your hands. You don't need to insult him to make him leave you alone, just make him anxious.Thanks!
QuestionHow I can respond to someone who insulted me about my fat?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf you want to insult him, you could say "Skinny or fat, I still look better than you." Or, you could take the high road and just ignore him, knowing that your value is not determined by your weight, and that only ignorant people make fun of others for their appearance.Thanks!
QuestionI have an enemy who used to be my good friend, but she betrayed me in front of our teacher. How do I insult her by which she gets to know that whatever she has done to me was seriously wrong?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf she used to be your good friend, perhaps you know some of her deep dark secrets or something like that. Bring it up, and she'll realize that she can't act like your friendship never happened.Thanks!
- Stand your ground. In Japanese martial arts you are told to hold your center and take theirs, you must keep yours before you can take theirs.
- Swearing is overused, it doesn't mean anything.
- Sit up straight, try to seem intimidating.
- Shakespeare had some pretty good insults in many of his plays. They work not only as an insult, but to confuse/frustrate.
- They are human, and therefore affected by insults. But do not stoop to the level of swearing.
- Learn fancy insults. They won't understand them, but they will be intimidated.
- Try not to insult their appearance. It will make you seem shallow to others and it's not creative (which this article is all about).
- Make sure that you never insult their appearance, as it seems weak, like you are not trying hard enough.
- Keep it laidback and act like you don't care about what they say.
- If they shoot you a dirty look, then look immediately behind you. This makes fun of the intentions of the look.
- If they are insulting the way you are, you can say, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you are an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please, continue while I take notes!" Smile while doing so and either it will frustrate them, or make them extremely confused.
Video: Learn German | Creative & Funny Ways To Insult Someone :P | VlogDave
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