How not to cheat yourself?
Many are accustomed to be nervous and anxious over trifles, thinking about past mistakes or presenting problems in the future. If you, too, can be attributed to the number of such people, then it's time to figure out how to stop cheating yourself and live peacefully. Now we will together understand why it is harmful to wind ourselves up, why we do this and how to get rid of it.
Cheat yourself bad
It is worth getting rid of the habit of being nervous over trifles, because there are several good reasons for this.
- A nervous person is captured by negative emotions that prevent him from relaxing and simply enjoying life. The body is constantly under stress, in tension, and this can not but affect health. The body spends a lot of energy on maintaining such a state, while losing strength, leading to the emergence of various diseases.
- There is an opinion that thought is material, and many people confirm its correctness. The bottom line is that we get what we form in our thoughts. If you constantly expect problems, think about them, then you will attract these troubles into your life. And pulling, thinking: "Well, I told you that it will be so!".Calm and positive-minded people often attract good events into their lives, they have fewer problems. And the whole thing - in the mood, in relation to themselves and to the world.
- A person who constantly thinks about troubles in the past or imagines problems in the future simply misses his life in the present, does not pay attention to it and is not able to simply enjoy it.
How not to cheat yourself: fighting with anxiety
Now let's understand why we are often nervous over trifles and wind ourselves up and how to get rid of it.
If you look deep into the past, you will find that in most cases, this behavior arises from childhood. Remember how you felt children's emotions? If offense, then to tears and for a long time, if a new toy as a gift is a joy for the whole day. Children are very keenly aware of emotions, are given to them, experiences absorb them completely. With age, we begin to behave differently, many of our emotions and feelings are not flaunting, but it is only, for example, that it is unflattering for someone to respond to our address, then the “child” immediately turns on inside, who is going through this resentment for a long time. .Many people also have a tendency not only to worry strongly about any trifle, but also to mentally return to it in the future several times.
How to be? As soon as another wave of strong negativity rolls over you and you feel that emotions and thoughts overwhelm you, you need to say to yourself “stop” and try to distract from your experiences. Take a look at the situation from the side and try to figure it out. Ask yourself a series of clarifying questions.
- What exactly bad happened?
- What caused the bad event?
- How did you react to this and why?
- Is your reaction adequate (is it too strong for this situation)?
- What should be done in terms of common sense?
- Is it worth worrying so much? Will this situation seriously affect your future life? Will it be important to you in a few years?
Believe me, as soon as you begin to analyze, for example, the fact that the saleswoman in the store is naughty, you yourself will understand the absurdity of long worries about this. Such an analysis, by the way, is also useful if you are too dreamy and make up for yourself an unreal life that you perceive as real.He will help all soberly assess and put in their places.
Now let's look at a few specific situations and find out how not to wind yourself in them.
Situation "I am afraid"
Often people are afraid to take on something new, because they are afraid of failure. Since they had no such experience before, it is difficult to predict the consequences. To get rid of anxiety, just sit down and think over all possible scenarios and what you will do in each case. Arrange a psychological preparation for any option. Suppose you are afraid to take the exam. The options here are: you successfully pass the exam and get a good grade; you will pass the exam, but not for the grade you want; you fail the exam. In the second and third cases, you can just go for a re-take. Lose once in your head the situation when you go to retake, feel it, make sure that there is nothing to worry about. It's enough. You will feel calmer and more confident and will be able to adequately treat any development of events.
Situation of self-doubt
Self-doubt is often associated with low self-esteem, when everyone around you seems smarter, more beautiful and more successful than you.Such people very painfully perceive criticism in their address, they are very hard for a long time. To get rid of such experiences, you need to learn one simple idea for yourself: all people are different, each of them has his own opinion, and everyone cannot like it. So, for example, your new haircut may appeal to a colleague, and he will praise her, and some friend will find that you have been "duped" in a barbershop. It is important to develop your opinion in relation to yourself. You should like yourself first and foremost, and as far as criticism and compliments are concerned, just remember that this is how people express their opinions and nothing more.
Situation of striving for the ideal
There are such pedantic people who always strive for the ideal in everything, even in small things. Well, if it was limited only by the desire and desire for order, but many begin to worry and get nervous when something goes wrong. How to be? We must learn to relax, to treat ourselves and others more gently, more condescendingly. Determine what is really important, and for what little things do not worry much. If, however, emotions begin to overwhelm, then switching to another kind of activity will help to cope with them.For example, instead of nervously winding circles around the room, take a deep breath, calm down, pour yourself a delicious tea and watch some funny movie. This will help get rid of excessive stress.
Here are some other ways to help you not to wind yourself up and get rid of anxiety:
- Exercises for relaxation, yoga and meditation. If you feel that you constantly walk in tension, you are in a bad mood and state of health, then you should choose one of the above and start exercising regularly. You will learn to relax the body and bring thoughts in order.
- Painting. Take a large sheet of paper, colored pens, pencils or felt-tip pens and simply start to paint your feelings on paper as you wish. Through drawing you spill out your negative, get rid of it. On the reverse side, write down the feelings that you have. Write and draw until you feel complete relief, and then just burn the leaf.
- The easiest way to distract from anxious thoughts is to do intense exercise.Sport will not only be useful for the body, but also “clear” the head of negativity.
Over time, you will learn not to cheat yourself and analyze the situation, and then problems will be solved much faster and easier.